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In an improvised fictional world, Lord Beran Murphial (a Lawful Good benevolent lord) summoned the greatest battle masters of the world and oversaw an epic tourney between two teams of 8 scrub monsters picked out of the D&D5E Monsters Manual. Lord Beran did this all to try and connect with his shit son and see him smile, though it didn't work and he ended up exploding. To the winner went the real life opportunity to pick the next book they read on the podcast.

Emily Axford, a woman who was scantily clad in vines and twigs with her nipples tastefully covered by 2 leaves but her vagina clearly exposed, headed the team: "Defenders of the Forest (AKA Forest WIN-aker (AKA The Green Deck (AKA They are Definitely In fact Giants (AKA The Monster Marsh (AKA Mourning Woods)))))", an army of forest creatures. Caldwell "The Belt Master" Tanner, a man who wore nothing but belts, headed the "Bad News Bugbears", a group of monstrous rejects.

First Round Edit

The first round match ups looked as follows:

The Mourning Woods VS

Bad News Bugbears

Spider, the Giant Poisonous Snake vs Matt Muncher, the Troglodyte
Needle Blight vs John Elway, the Flying Sword
Borf, the Giant Badger vs Ruth Chris, the Riding Horse
Coke, the Sprite vs Dixie, the Pixie
Peder, the Giant Centipede vs Horse, the Bullywug
Legolas, the Drow vs George Bush, the Goblin
Rob, the Zombie vs Arthur Treacher "the Winged Creature", the Winged Kobold
Snake, the Giant Wolf Spider vs Jack Skeleton "the Squash Prince", the Skeleton

Second Round Edit

The second round pitted the 8 victorious scrub monsters from the first bracket to duke it out for the ultimate victory. Due to Emily winning most match ups in the first round, Murph took control of some of Emily's monsters so that they could fight each other, in turn, Caldwell took control of the lord's shit son and various other NPCs.

The second round match ups looked as follows:

Second Round
Spider, the Giant Poisonous Snake vs John Elway, the Flying Sword
Borf, the Giant Badger vs Dixie, the Pixie
Peder, the Giant Centipede vs Legolas, the Drow
Snake, the Giant Wolf Spider vs Rob, the Zombie

Semi-Finals Edit

The semi-final match ups looked as follows:

Semi-Finals
Legolas, the Drow vs Rob, the Zombie
John Elway, the Flying Sword vs Borf the Giant Badger

Finals Edit

The final match up looked as follows:

Finals
Rob, the Zombie vs John Elway, the Flying Sword

The Appearance of John Elway Edit

The final boss fight match up was as follows:

Rob the Zombie vs Giant John Elway (The Primary Elway)
Snake the Giant Wolf Spider vs
Legolas the Drow vs
Arthur Treacher the Winged Kobold vs
8 Drow Goth Groupies (Including: Finnegan and Brinegan, Darius and Rucker, and Brixton) vs
John Elsingway the Flying Football vs